My conversation with a sixth grader

This last Wednesday, I had the opportunity to talk to a sixth grader that just got back from Outdoor School. She is a member of my church's youth group and I have only talked to her a few times. I didn't even know she went to ODS until she walked past me while wearing her wood cookie. That's right, she wore her wood cookie all day just because she liked the experience that much. I noticed a bead on the string and automatically knew it was from Bayleef (a girl SL that I worked with in the Fall). I got into a conversation with her about her 3 short days at Namanu. We shared stories and memories. She showed me her wood cookie so I could tell her all the student leaders that I knew. I asked which field study was her favorite. Plants with Lime. Which cabin she was in. Steens (I was in Steens last Fall). Then, we got to talking about how amazing ODS is. She told me she almost didn't get to go because there almost wasn't enough funding. She told me she wished she could have gone a full week. I agree. She should have gone a full week. Three days are fun, but a week makes an even greater difference. I could tell she had a great time and I just wish everyone could see how happy sixth graders are after their time at Outdoor School. It is a life changing experience that everyone should get the chance to have.

My Paddle's Keen and Bright

My paddle's keen and bright
Flashing like silver
Swift as the wild goose flight
Dip, dip and swing Dip, dip and swing 'er back
Flashing like silver
Swift as the wild goose flight
Dip, dip and swing.

Oh the tears!

I am going to cry so much!! I will have my very last week as an Outdoor School student leader. When I get on that bus to go to Namanu, I will be a 5th timer. But, I will leave as a proud 6th timer that has just completed the biggest part of her life. I will do my best that week, and push myself to do even better. I will bond with all the other student leaders and make friendships that will last a lifetime. I will spend as much time with the staff as I can, because I know that there is a possibility that I will never see them again. I will sing my girls to sleep every night (even though I suck at singing) with the song If You Love Me, because I want them to know how much it all means to me. I will teach my heart out to make sure the 6th graders have as much fun learning as I do teaching. I will spend every minute of social hour taking in all the amazing things I'm going to miss. I will make that dreaded walk on Friday. I will look at all the staff, knowing they mean the world to me and hoping they know too. I will get to Sequoia. I will look at her and the tears will start (if they haven't already). Sequoia is the only tie I have left to Adams. She has been my PM for two sessions. I have worked with her on water field study. I have connected with her. She is the main person I look up to at ODS, and the "real world". I will look at her and she will look me in the eyes like she always does. And I will break down. I will cry like I never have before. I will receive my 6th timer award. I will hug whoever is nearby. Then, I will pull myself together to send the kids off with happy memories. I will (reluctantly) get on the bus to leave. I will say good bye to my life as I know it. I will say my final good byes to my family. And my legacy as a student leader will be over. I am so thankful for ODS, without it, I would be miserable.

I need it

It is that time of the year. When I get the feeling that nothing makes me happy and I'm judged too often. That's when I find I need Outdoor School. I need the nature, the friendliness, the joy, the teaching, the people, and most of all, I just need to escape. Outdoor School is where I find pure happiness. I don't even have to look for it there. Right off the bus I'm happy. In fact, that happiness comes to me the moment I get to the MESD building. Outdoor School doesn't judge. It doesn't discriminate. It doesn't pick favorites. Outdoor School is a place for everyone, no questions asked.
I get to go back to that amazing place in three weeks. Those three weeks will go by incredibly slow. My week at Namanu will end far too soon and I will have to say goodbye to my place of joy. Goodbye to my home. And, worst of all, goodbye to my family, whom I will never forget.

Only one more week

I only have one more week of Outdoor School. It just hit me. I knew it was coming, the day I would have to say goodbye to my wonderfully amazing time as a student leader, I just now understand that this is my last session. I have to say goodbye to the staff and the other student leaders. I have to say goodbye to the site, where so many fond memories were created. I'm not ready. I know I can come back next year as a special needs helper, but will Outdoor School still be there? Will the staff be the same? Will it still have the sense of community that I fell in love with? I just don't know. Nobody does. We all hope and pray for that great place to be there next year, but it's not guaranteed. All I know is that my life without Outdoor School would suck. I wouldn't be as happy and brave as I am today. I can't wait to go back to Namanu for week 7 but I'm dreading the Friday I have to leave, hoping I will be able to help out at workshop in the fall.

That one hug...

...meant so much. It wasn't a hug from a boyfriend or a hot guy. It wasn’t from a family member or someone I've known for forever. It was from a sixth grader. Yes, front hugs are outdoor school inappropriate, but sometimes you don't have time to deflect it.

My third week out, I had a full cabin. Some of the girls were a bit more difficult to manage. One student was especially difficult. She was very smart and creative; she just didn't know how to properly express herself. I had noticed she hadn't made many friends and she wasn't making the most of her experience. I had also noticed that she did an amazing job on one of the daily activities. So, during my personal good nights one night, I went over to her bunk, got down to her level, and asked how her day went. She said the usual "It was okay" so I asked what her favorite part was. She didn't have an answer. I could tell she was feeling a tad home sick. I looked her in the eyes and told her that I saw she had fun today and that she was absolutely wonderful throughout the day. I told her I was proud to have her in my cabin and that her mother must be proud of her. She looked at me, then, out of nowhere, I saw a smile and was wrapped in her arms. I knew right then that I had made a difference in her week.

The next day, I saw major improvements in her behavior and she began talking to students from different schools. All she needed was to know that we cared and that we didn't only see the bad things, we noticed the good moments too. I left that week knowing I made a difference, and I thrive to have moments like that each week I return.

Somewhere Only We Know

One day, over the summer, I was listening to my YouTube playlist and one of my favorite songs came on. It was "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. Just listening to the lyrics, I began to cry. Every line and verse described my feelings for the Adams site. I was surprised how perfect it was; I listened to it over and over again so I could relive my wonderful memories. If only I could go somewhere only we know, like "the zoo" from soil field study, or Waverly, where I spent two sessions being a cabin leader. I miss Adams so much. I would give anything to have the chance to return, if only for one day, and say a proper goodbye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGBLiGFaddo

When I lost it

Adams-Milk Creek Outdoor School was my home. I went there as a sixth grader and returned as a student leader. I was able to do three sessions at Adams. Those three weeks were absolutely amazing!! I finished my junior year in high school thinking that I would be able to go back home in the fall for a week. I was wrong. I heard rumors of MY sites closure but refused to believe it. Then, I got an e-mail from Pheff, my site supervisor. She confirmed the dreaded rumors and I had to accept the fact that my sacred place, my home, my escape, was gone. I couldn't handle the thought of never seeing the staff, the site, the river, and my friends again. I broke down. Adams had done so much for me and I couldn't return the favor. I cried. Not just for a few minutes or hours. I cried for days, then on and off for a couple months. Everything reminded me of how different my fall session would be and how I would have to do something completely new to me. I just don't understand how there isn't a sufficient funding program for such an impactful experience.

Magic Penny

This song is one of my all-time favorites! Only a few sites sing it, Adams did, unfortunately Namanu (where I go now) doesn't. We would learn a verse to this song every night, and then on Thursday during the last campfire, we would receive a "magic penny". On Friday we would all trade our pennies with our new friends. I still have all of mine. :) This song gives a meaning to those pennies and helped to express the love we have for each other and the camp site.

A penny's made of copper

Love is made of heart

Magic is within us all

Too soon we must depart

A magic love is in the air

The spirit 'round you flies

A magic penny means I care

You're magic in my eyes

For a magic penny says the things no words can say

It's a silent song of friendship that has grown

To someone who gives back to you the love you give away

A magic friend will never be alone

For nothing can be had from a penny you don't spend

A love can never grow inside 'til given to a friend

I've learned so much from all of you I wish this would not end

But if we learn to share our love it will come back again

For a magic penny says the things no words can say

It's a silent song of friendship that has grown

To someone who gives back to you the love you give away

A magic friend will never be alone